There is simply no replacement for the feelings you experience after you become a parent. Along with the excitement of dealing with your little bundle of joy, you are also learning to adjust to a new routine. Most of the time it may seem as if everyone’s attention is completely on the baby. It won’t be long when your child grows up and moves out, leaving you and your partner alone once again. This is why it’s vital to continue nurturing your relationship with your spouse, even when you decide to sit on the roller-coaster of parenthood.
To help you maintain your relationship with your partner, pursue the following tips:
Make a Sensible Effort
Before becoming parents, spending time with your spouse required next-to-no effort. It was easy to drop everything and go out. Now that your entire life revolves around your new addition, you will have to put in more effort to put time aside for each other.
If your family lives nearby, don’t be shy to ask for help. Ask them if they would like to care for your baby while you enjoy an evening out with your spouse. If you don’t have a family member nearby, you can hire a babysitter through an agency. A professional agency will conduct an interview and thorough background check of the babysitter so you can be sure that your child will be cared for.
Communicate Clearly and Openly
Maintaining an open and clear line of communication is essential to surviving parenthood. Avoid conflicts regarding baby duties. Clearly spell out who will perform which duties, i.e. feeding, bathing, changing diapers, the housework, etc. When your partner is clear about what is expected from them, the potential for conflict is very minimal.
If there is something that is bothering you and you want to communicate this with your partner, set aside some time when the child is asleep. Ensure both of you are well rested before getting into any discussion. This prevents you from expelling your frustration on your partner when you’re irritated or haven’t had enough sleep.
Practice Active Listening
This is a difficult skill to master because most of us listen by simply shaking or nodding our heads. This does nothing to acknowledge or convey that we’ve understood what the other person is saying. In active listening, you recognize your partner’s feelings and re-express what they’ve said as how you understood it. This takes practice but when you’ve both mastered this skill, you will find it easier to accept and offer criticism. Keep in mind to focus on the problem and solution and NOT blame each other.
Why is it important to focus on being a couple after having a baby?
Many research studies have demonstrated that couples feel less satisfied in their marriages after having a baby. When faced with all the adjustments in your relationship and lifestyle, only support from your spouse can get you through difficult times. Couples who fail to maintain their relationship after having a baby will have to face their challenges on their own.
Keep in mind that it takes the time to adjust to your new responsibilities as a parent. However, if you’re able to work together as a couple, it can spell the difference between a struggling and a healthy relationship.
For information and support on your new parenting role, contact Rite Options Center for surrogacy and egg donation.